This is the website of Abulsme Noibatno Itramne (also known as Sam Minter). Posts here are rare these days. For current stuff, follow me on Mastodon

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G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

GijoemovieposterI’m going to stop putting things like “Cinema:” in the titles, as anybody who cares can see the category or tags, or just figure it out. Just sayin.

Anyway, first of all, I just want to emphasize… Brandy and I did NOT want to see this movie. We did not choose it, we would never choose it, etc. However, Amy wanted to see a movie with a couple of her friends. And, well, due to some unpleasantness earlier this summer, for the moment she is no longer allowed to see movies without at least one parent also present. But we wanted to be nice and let her go out anyway. So we agreed to let her go with the condition that we would be sitting in the theater too, although not right next to her and her friends. And of course the movie this group of three kids chose was this one. I had heard nothing but bad things about it. I did not have high expectations.

Brandy’s reactions on leaving the theater were all along the lines of “This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen”, “How do I get those two hours back”, “That was horrible”, etc. So we know how she feels.

For me, it was pretty stupid and worthless, but given the negative hype, I actually expected worse. So I was actually mostly OK with it. There were random people running around and things blowing up and stuff. There were people who if they can act were not showing it here. There was awful dialog. But, you know, whatever. I ate a bunch of buttered popcorn, so all was OK in the world I guess. Was it good? No. Not even close. Was it pretty bad, yes, OK, it was. But it wasn’t the painful kind of bad, it was just the waste of time sort of bad. And lets be honest, if I’d been at home would I have done anything really useful? No, probably not. So, you know, whatever.

Except of course that it cost money. OK, now I’m mad. This cost money. Ouch. OK, that sucks. OK, if this ever comes on TV and you are completely bored and have absolutely nothing else to do, OK, feel free to leave it on and watch. But under no circumstances watch this in any way that requires you to pay for it. That’s about right.